Family Life

Grandma was horrified that I would let my children run riot at the swimming pool (see yesterday’s post.) She was of the opinion that those boys needed to be taken around the back of the woodshed and have their backsides warmed. Teach them how to behave. Make sure they solemnly obey their parents.

It’s a perplexing situation.

I thought about it some more. Overall, I don’t think the boys refused to do what they were told. Mostly they were excited about being there, and were distracted by all the noise and commotion around them. When I spoke to them, trying to direct in swimming, or drying, or dressing, they weren’t focused on what I was saying. Their attention was elsewhere. But once the words sank in they cooperated quite amiably, albeit with a bit more noise and bouncing around than was strictly necessary.

Debbie has developed a method to address this. She’ll say to them, “Look at my eyes.” She’ll repeat and insist until they’re looking at her. Then she’ll say what she needs them to hear. She gets their attention first. I haven’t perfected this method. In fact, I’ve never used it. But I will be from now on.

Daniel is particularly afflicted by a single-minded focus, a one-track mind. If you’re on his wavelength, you only have to say something once and he’ll remember it for years. Literally. If he’s concentrating on something else, you can talk to him until you’re blue in the face and absolutely nothing will register. He inherits this trait from both parents, unfortunately. He’s doomed. The solution is mental training and discipline, to recognize what should be the task at hand and focus on it rather than on some far-off la-la land. At ten times his age, I’m still trying to figure this out for myself. How to instill that training and discipline in a three-year-old is a challenge.

Joel is particularly scared about getting his eyes or ears anywhere near the water. All the instructor’s directions involve putting those things very close to, or even in, the water. This puts Joel and the instructor at cross-purposes. I can understand both of their positions. My challenge is to get Joel to join in with the activities without terrifying him and putting him off swimming altogether. Gentle but firm. It’s a fine line to walk.

And Joel mimics his older brother. Which means when they’re together Joel will also not be paying attention. When he’s by himself he’s much more attentive and responsive. So how do I train Joel for independent thought, to not just blindly follow his older brother? A challenge, for a two-year-old.

Please, dear readers, don’t misunderstand me. A good time was had by all. The experience made for some funny stories. I’ll be fine-tuning my methodology as the weeks progress, and I’ll have it perfected just as the last lesson rolls around in two months. I’ll let you know how it goes. By December it’ll all be so routine it’ll be perfectly boring. No funny stories at all.

Who am I kidding? These are kids we’re talking about. It’ll be unexpected, catastrophic, hilarious. Probably all at the same time.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 2nd, 2007 at 11:40 pm. You can subscribe via RSS 2.0 feed to this post's comments. Both comments and pings are currently closed.