Family Life

There’s not a lot I can recommend about the responsibilities of adult life, particularly the responsibilities of a parent. The to-do list never ends. First there are the general essentials: grocery shopping, cooking, washing dishes, laundry, ironing, vacuuming, going to work every day. Then there are the parent-specific essentials: dressing kids, feeding kids, taking them to the bathroom, keeping them occupied (e.g. reading stories), keeping them civil (i.e. not tearing each other limb from limb), bathing them, putting them to bed.

Next you get the tasks that will get done Real Soon Now, as soon as I find a moment. These can be house-related, like fixing that leaky tap. Or maybe in the garden, where I really should get those roses tucked in for the winter. Perhaps it’s personal, like getting new glasses to replace the frames that are falling apart. Or it’s about the kids, since I’d like to resume weekly ice skating with Daniel this winter. And I haven’t even begun to scratch the surface with emails that need replies, blog posts that need writing, photos that need to be printed and filed, paperwork that should be filled in for the children.

Finally there’s all the things I’d like to do, but strictly speaking aren’t necessary. Things like watching a movie, sitting down with a book, completing an online photography training course, playing computer games. Entertainment items are definitely at the forefront of my mental list, but every day I watch in dismay as higher-priority things from the previous paragraphs bump these down, until it gets to the point where maybe I’ll be able to play that game sometime next February, if I’m lucky, and if nothing urgent pops up before then.

As you can imagine, sleep suffers. There are only so many hours in a day, and I can’t afford to waste them sleeping. Until the lack of sleep pushes the need for an early bedtime to the top of the list. And then I feel bad about all the stuff that didn’t get done that evening. I’m racing along inside my hamster wheel, spinning in place, seeming to go nowhere. Let me tell you, this tunnel is so long there isn’t even a hint of light to show there’s an actual end in sight.

Rather than give in to despair, the trick is to find enjoyment in all these everyday tasks. To realize that although the end of the tunnel may not be in sight, the tunnel itself is in fact brightly lit. I love my wife, therefore I do housework. I love my children, and I find joy in caring for them. It’s just that every now and then I miss the carefree days of my youth.

This entry was posted on Saturday, November 3rd, 2007 at 11:08 pm. You can subscribe via RSS 2.0 feed to this post's comments. You can comment below, or link to this permanent URL from your own site. Your comments will be moderated if this is your first time, otherwise they will appear immediately. I reserve the right to delete inappropriate comments.