Dec 07
31
Personnel Management
Posted by Stephen31
Tags: children, father-son, Joel, quiet, routine
My vacation is running out!
That was this morning’s panic thought. Over a week ago Debbie had asked me what I wanted to do with my time off, so I’d made a list. Reviewing that list this morning, I realized I’d hardly even touched those things. In fact, I hadn’t even had time to catch up on photos and I was seriously falling behind on blog posts. It seemed like I got even less done on holiday, spending all day at home, than while at work, when I only got evenings at home. I really can’t figure out how that happened. Maybe I spent a lot of time with wife and kids–always a good thing, and actually one of my holiday goals–and I just didn’t realize how much time that was.
Full of helpful ideas and willing to ease my distress, Debbie suggested taking Daniel and Micah shopping, and putting Joel to bed for a nap. That way I’d have a quiet house all afternoon, to get done what I’d wanted to do. What a wonderful idea! A whole afternoon all to myself! No sooner said than done. There I was, quietly working away with no noise, no interruptions.
Joel napped. Debbie got all her shopping done. The boys with her behaved themselves. I got lots of work done. That could have been the happy ending to the story, but eventually we came to bedtime.
Daniel had to go to bed at the regular time. Tonight, as on most nights, there was no question: by 7 he’d had it and needed sleep. But Joel was bright and cheery, wide awake. Joel generally needs less sleep than Daniel anyway, and today he’d had extra. The solution was simple: put Daniel to bed now, Joel later. The execution was a little more complicated.
Bedtime is a finely-honed routine. I know what to do, the boys know what to do (and remind me if I skip a step), and regardless of occasional protests and tears both boys usually end up in bed (and asleep) on schedule.
Tonight we bathed and pajamaed the boys at the usual time, but then only processed Daniel. Teeth, story, prayers, goodnight kiss, lights out. The normal, simple routine, complicated by the fact that Joel was now at a loose end. He was adrift, knowing he wasn’t going to bed yet (and nominally pleased about that), and yet shunted out of the normal routine. He wandered in and out of the room, not wanting to stay lest it mistakenly signal a desire to go to bed right now, and not wanting to leave and miss out on the teeth-brushing, story-reading, etc.
This aimless wandering was distracting, particularly to Daniel, since he knew he wouldn’t get to stay up. Why couldn’t Joel just go play with his toys? In the end I shooed him out, sternly telling him to go play. It’s a surreal feeling, ordering a child to play. Something is wrong with the universe.
I went out and played with Joel after Daniel was safely tucked in bed. Part of Joel’s problem was that he had no one to play with. Daniel, the oldest, is quite happy to be by himself. Joel, the middle child, needs company.
In the end, I had some quiet time to myself in the afternoon to get stuff done, and some quiet time in the evening to play with Joel. So the story ended happily after all.
