Family Life

We went to a wedding today. Rolf, a young guy I’ve known for twenty years, married Irene, a Chinese girl. It was a hot day. An interesting and somewhat unusual day. A very relaxing day.

First the relaxing part. The wedding was at 1pm, the reception was at six-ish, and we eventually got home after ten. We had a whole afternoon and evening with just the two of us, no kids. The boys spent the afternoon swimming and playing and went to bed at the usual time. They had a great time. No worries there. Debbie and I spent the hours between wedding and reception chatting and catching up with old friends, relaxing in the sun on benches outside the church. The reception was calm and unhurried, with more socializing.

Next the hot part. The wedding was held on one of the hottest days of the summer, with the noon-day sun beating down on the big, old, traditional stone church building where we held the service. There was no air conditioning. In fact, there was no ventilation of any kind other than a row of small, half-open windows. The church was pretty full.

Before leaving home Debbie asked if I was going to wear my suit jacket. I paused to consider: it was a hot day. No, I’d leave the jacket at home. I’d probably be too hot if I wore it. When we arrived, I noticed most guys were wearing a jacket and I wondered if maybe I should have brought mine after all. Once inside the building we realized with horror there really was no a/c, and that we’d soon be boiling in our own juices. I can’t tell you how glad I was I had not worn my jacket. The wedding program booklet we’d been given performed good service as a fan. I can’t imagine how the guys in the wedding party felt, standing still for the entire service in their black suits.

Everybody went outside after the service was over, and although it was a hot day it was cooler outside than in, and there was a breeze. At 4:30 we left to find something to drink, and sat for a while in air-conditioned comfort while sipping a deliciously cold beverage before driving on to the reception. The reception venue was comfortably cool.

And finally the interesting part. It was a bilingual day. The service was in English and Chinese. The reception speeches were in English and Chinese. The program was printed in English and Chinese. Same for the signs. There were two ministers, handing off the service to each other. When the Chinese minister spoke, the bride’s side of the church would occasionally burst into laughter. The groom’s side (where we were) sat in silent solemnity wondering what the joke was. Thankfully the bride and groom exchanged wedding vows in English.

At the reception the bride and bridesmaids, equally comfortable in English and Chinese, alternated between the two languages in their speeches. Those of us not fluent in Chinese had to read between the lines, so to speak. It reminded me of the Spanglish of my youth (incidentally, my spell-checker has no problem with the word “Spanglish”).

The funny thing is that it wasn’t hard to get a sense of what was said. The speeches were quite emotional, and the rise and fall of volume, tone and purpose clearly communicated the speaker’s intent. Different cultures, different languages, but hurts and joys and losses and loyalties are universal. Rolf’s Dad died suddenly a few years ago; Irene’s Mum left when she was small. Her Mum was there today, and there was some very emotional, very public reconciliation at the reception. I can’t comment exactly on the nature or extent of that reconciliation, it was all in Chinese. But some emotions don’t need language.

I was also amazed as one person after another took the microphone and bore witness to Rolf’s steadfast faith and commitment to serving the Lord throughout his young life. I wasn’t surprised. I’ve known him for a long time and this was aligned with the Rolf I knew. My amazement stemmed from the consistent picture painted by family and friends, old and young. Oh that I should have such a steady, unswerving walk with God.

Thank you, Rolf and Irene, for inviting us to your wedding. It was relaxing, it was fun, it was inspiring. And thank you for your witness to the power of God in your lives. May He bless you with many happy years together.

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